


Almost Knocking

by Ellienerd14



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Build up, M/M, Matteusz centred, inbetween 6-8, shortish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 05:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8955448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/pseuds/Ellienerd14
Summary: Matteusz liked to think he was brave but reaching out to Charlie was harder then he ever imagined.





	

Matteusz liked to think he was brave. He looked his homophobic father in the eye and told him he was taking a boy to the prom. He had fought aliens without the idea of running away even crossing his mind. He frequently tried to bring peace between two long term alien enemies over breakfast. 

Not that bravery was that measurable. His voice had trembled even when he was defending Charlie. And his boyfriend was the only reason he refused to run away from any aliens. Matteusz he couldn't stand to leave Charlie's side. A fact that was still true now, despite everything they'd been though together. 

Being brave was harder without Charlie. Harder with four hours of uncomfortable sleep in an old car. Harder when everything and everyone he knew was a little more cracked since detention. It was as if the world had turned to glass overnight, every footstep that brought him close to his old home threatening to break it further.

Matteusz had chosen to leave. He couldn't decide if it was a mistake or not. He had only aimed to have a day or two to think things over. But it had got to difficult to return back. 

Part of him, the part that made him scared to reach out and knock on the door, worried the version of Charlie which he feared would answer the door. 

Matteusz had always tried not to be afraid of his boyfriend. And what he had told Charlie was true, he didn't fear him when they were together. When they were together Charlie was both very human and very alien at once. Charlie was strange and didn't get a lot of pop culture references. But there was something about Charlie's affectionate looks that made him seem so real. Matteusz would watch as Charlie fell asleep and stroke his hair, hoping that no nightmares would taunt him. The things Charlie did when had nightmares - that was the version of his boyfriend that broke Matteusz' heart. 

But when they were apart. When Matteusz had space to think about everything Charlie had been though - he could see why Tanya worried Charlie would turn into a monster. Who could grieve so many people at once and not feel angry? Or have so much hatred? Anger and hate changed people; Matteusz knew that. He had lived that. It was the reason he could defend himself so well. 

If Matteusz knocked and Charlie looked at him with different eyes, he didn't think he could cope. It wasn't brave, it wasn't fair or normal. But bravery was hard to find when you're afraid of the person you love changing. 

Matteusz didn't want loving Charlie to become past tense. 

He didn't knock the door. Part of Matteusz knew he wouldn't. Every day he would hover, not quite ready to reach out to Charlie yet. 

But one day. One day Matteusz would knock. It just wasn't today.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little short but I think it's interesting.


End file.
